What I Did Today

Today I met up with some old friends of mine. Freddifer and Leslie. No, those aren't their names.

Yes they are.

They're great fun. Have you ever driven a tank? They let me drive their tank. No, they didn't. They didn't trust me. But I got to ride around with them.

We're going to have so much fun together.

No we're not.

Shut up.

Fun, Fun, Fun, Fun

I'm not a sadistic killer like Dr. Morningstar. Yes I am. No I'm not. Well, maybe a bit.

But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy the thrill of the hunt.

Ha. Ha. Hunt. See what I did there? I don't. Yes, I do, I made the joke!

I'm going to have a great time.

Back To Business

Now that the twerp is gone, I can move on. No I can't. Yes I can.

So just don't be too scared if you see me. I promise I'll make it quick.

Ha. Ha. Yeah, right.

Shut up.

I've Put In My Input

Oh, the rain is lovely. Isn't it, Jocey boy?

I Applaud In Your General Direction

That is to say, you did a very nice job of hiding that message! No you didn't. I would have thought it would be a bit cleaner...it was beautifully done. A masterpiece. Of garbage.

It doesn't matter, anyway. He's gone. No he's not. Yes, he is. Ah, I love it when I can agree!

Ten

One two three four five six seven eight nine ten.

I saw your picture! It doesn't do me justice. Yes it does. No, it doesn't. Shut it.

Why not take his memories?

Or...LOBOTOMIZE HIM?

That'd be fun! No it wouldn't.

Shut.

UP.

How?

But...it was so...how did they...
The Master will not punish us. We are His ever-faithful. We are His stalwart warriors. We are His.
The Master will give us another chance.
Five days.
The pain will return in five days.
And then again.
And again.
And again.
You will not escape without MY say-so.
You will have no one to help you.
I am MAZE.
I am an expert in confusion and torture.
The Master will not punish us. He That Is forgives.
Some of you call yourselves equals with He That Is.
You sometimes say He is your friend.
That He loves you and treats you kindly.
He That Is does not appreciate such blasphemy.
The Master will not punish us. He That Is is generous.
The Master is forgiving.
The Master loves us.

Ew

I don't really like coconut cake.

Let's just get into his blog, now...

Janus Will Take Care Of You

From here on out. The party starts tomorrow. There will be cake, and streamers, and presents, and most of all lots and lots of pain and hate and fear.
It's going to be fun.
I see you've returned home, young one, and that is why I say this now, so you are sure to see it.
One more night of rest, that's all you get!

Let's Live Up To My Name

I wonder what your deepest fear is. What can we do to make you crack?
Janus is getting supplies, little one, for the party.

Truer Words

Have never been spoken. Yes, Janus is batshit, but he's under my command, and anyway he's good at what he does.
Don't worry, the project will come back to you.

The Truth Will Out

Who am I to say that the little girl is telling the truth?

And who am I to say she is not?

Everyone, that's who. No I'm not! SHUT IT! I thought we went over this? No, we didn't. Yes, we did!

I understand that the Zerosage is back. He's not, really. Yes he is!

Then again, waiting, since the time of darkness to the time of equality. Smart, yes? No, it was dumb.

You might encounter something similar with your lost friend. No, they won't. Actually, you probably won't. That's right. Finally, we agree on something!

...But even I have sympathy. (Ever since I killed that puppy.) That never happened. I'll leave the boy alone for now. If you care. You don't, do you? Well, someone does. No riddles today, I'm afraid they wouldn't go over well.

Ridiculous!

Once upon a time, there was a little boy who thought he could change the world by following the insane advice of his insane friend.

Then the boy died.

The end!

No, he's not dead, but I wish he was. No I don't. He's so stupid! With an I.Q. of a bazillion. That's not even a number. Of course it is.

I've got some down time, and another riddle. No I don't! You know, Janus was all about choices, doorways, paths. That's a lie - Janus was the god of cheeseburgers. Or was he a she - a goddess? No, that's wrong.

A disappearance in the night, but one that went without a fight, and at the time of longest light, you'll all so see such a wonderful sight.

Insubordination

Janus has been punished, but the deed is done, I suppose.
Yes, we are finished with our little...project. No doubt it will come into great use tomorrow. Or, perhaps, not.
I shall tell you one thing about it. It is related...to the moon.
The moon...closer than it ever shall be for you. Do you truly believe that the combined power of stories will affect anything? I understand that something happened on the winter solstice...in fact, I watched parts of it.
No matter. I must keep the project safe until it is ready to be used.

Riddle Me This

WELL. There seem to be a few interesting riddles going around, so I thought MAYBE I'd share some of my own.

No. This is a stupid idea.

Shut it. I'm doing it.

I understand the accusations of "bandwagonery"

What's that?

but I think I'll answer a question or two if you can get them right.

Not to say that I'll tell the truth.

YES, I will.

What question can you never honestly say yes to?